Learn Chinese in 5 minutes                               (You MUST read them out loud)
1)       That's not right                                         Sum Ting Wong
2)       Are you harboring a fugitive?               Hu Yu Hai Ding
3)       See me ASAP                                             Kum Hia Nao
4)       Stupid Man                                                Dum Fuk
5)       Small Horse                                              Tai Ni Po Ni
6)       Did you go to the beach?                        Wai Yu So Tan
7)       I bumped into a coffee table                  Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8)       I think you need a face lift                     Chin Tu Fat
9)       It's very dark in here                              Wao So Dim
10)     I thought you were on a diet                 Wai Yu Mun Ching?
11)     This is a tow away zone                          No Pah King
12)     Our meeting is scheduled for next week    Wai Yu Kum Nao?
13)     Staying out of sight                                 Lei Ying Lo
14)     He's cleaning his automobile                Wa Shing Ka
15)     Your body odor is offensive                 Yu Stin Ki Pu
16)     Great                                                           Fa Kin Su Pah

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Subject: Chinese couple wedding night
Chinese couple get married - and she's a virgin. Truth betold, he is none too
experienced either. On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the bed
sheets as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be
reassuring: "My darring" he says, "I know dis yo firs time and you berry
frighten. I pomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - jus anyting
dat you want, you say.  Whatchou want?" he says, trying to sound experienced,
which he hopes will impress his virgin bride. A thoughtful silence follows and
he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request. She eventually replies shyly and
unsure, "I want......numba 69" More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually,

in a puzzled tone he queries ... "You want ... Beef wif Broccori?"